![]() First, I needed to deal with my bikini line. ![]() Once I’d committed to the idea, there was some body prep to consider. Exactly what I’d expected from them, really. My boys, aged 11 and 13, thought it was #sogross. Turns out he was pretty cool with it once he understood how important it was to me, or maybe he just reckoned it would lead to more spousal nudity. He likes to see me in the buff, but I wasn’t sure how on-board he’d be with me baring it all for others. I was curious about what my husband would think. After many frantic questions for Kagan - “Will there be men and women present?” (“Yes”) “Can we do this by candlelight?” (“No”) “Has anyone ever fainted?” (“Not even once”) - we arranged a date for me to model. But I’ve spent an enormous amount of energy tackling enormous body image demons (shouldn’t I be thinner, firmer, perkier?), and this just seemed like the next challenge. Apparently, if you own a dressing gown that you’re willing to take off, you’re in. Less easy was owning up to why I’d want to do it. So I sent Kagan some fan mail, praising his work and asking shyly about becoming a model. Back in university, I had a friend who supplemented her income as a life-drawing model, and I remembered her telling me they were always on the hunt for “interesting” body shapes. Yet I was intrigued about what it must feel like to be studied (and drawn) this way. I grew up thinking that with my looks, I should have been born smarter - and modelling had never crossed my mind. I’d promised myself I would honour my body and my commitment and do it without being bashful - or throwing up.Ī few weeks earlier I’d stumbled on the sketches of Toronto-based artist Kagan McLeod online. For three hours, I was a life-drawing model. Yet there I was on a chilly fall evening, posing and prancing naked in front of 10 total strangers. ![]() I listen to Katy Perry, live in the suburbs and read a lot of Margaret Atwood. There are nude drawings of me on the internet - and I gave permission for them to be there.
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